Artificial Sperm as a Deterrent

Saw this on a spoof page but it looks like a great idea to me. I often see people checking seats before they sit down in public places, you never know if some dickwad hasn't spit, jacked or spilled something there by accident or on purpose.

Hopefully, if you are a decent person and use this idea, you'll wipe it up before you leave since you got the isolation you wanted.

"Delbert L. Phipps has invented many practical joke items during the past 20 years of his career as a novelty and gag item inventor, but his latest creation is sure to open eyes and foster universal disgust around the globe. 'I had an inspiration for my newest invention when I was sitting on a bus and noticed a great big fat slob walking toward me. I was sitting next to one of the few open seats left and hoped fatso wouldn't sit next to me!" Within months Phipps invention was born...'Fe-Fi-Faux-Fuc in a Tube!' The artificial sperm looks exactly like the real thing and can be applied quickly and discreetly too! "I wear it on my face, chin, and cover my shirt front with it when I want to cut ahead in line. In fact, I receive faster service too...Most service people want to get rid of me pronto!" Claims Phipps. "Now, if I see a fatso walking down the isle, I squirt a dab of 'Faux-Fuc' on the seat next to me and no one ever takes that seat.!" - Source